Buttons!

Got my buttons pushed this evening. Liz was saying how I need to sponsor someone, and she kept pushing it to the point where I backlashed at her and went off.
She was making me feel like if I didn't get a sponsee within the week I would be a failure at staying sober.
Of course, we talked it out, both of us acknowledging our parts, but there for a moment I was seeing red and fixing to fire her ass if she didn't slow down and let me talk.
Whew.
Long day at work... it was busy, steady that is. Slow enough to make me look for stuff to clean then I'd get buried with dishes when everyone paid their check and left.
Back was hurting but it's ok now. I went to the bank today and got a cashier's check for 1800.00 to pay off VCU. I can't believe that a good friend and also my own mother both told me not to pay it ... at least not in full. with friends like that, that's how I got so deep into debt. I'm paying off a student loan and they're saying NO, use it to get an apartment... blah blah blah.
Good grief! I feel like a great person for finally paying that off, but then they made me feel like a silly person. For a few minutes anyway. NOW I can go back to school, voc rehab will pay for my schooling and give me job placement help. I'll have help from Voc Rehab. All the way.
Liz and I went over the 12th step tonight. We'll start on the traditions next week.
As we were walking out of the meeting hall I saw a cute gal dressed in a leather biker jacket. And low and behold I kept on walking!
lol. I wonder if I should have stayed just to get an idea about her. But I didn't. That's not a good idea, scoping out women in meetings.
Anyhow...
I came home to some nice leftovers from the roommates. Tomorrow we start the play back up for the weekend. It's been good to get some sleep.
Steve gave me a hoodie, and I went to the thrift store and got a flannel shirt, a nice micro-suede jacket (brand new, like the one I left in Alaska)... also got a long sleeve tshirt and a blaze orange jacket liner, which I really like. The zipper pull is broken though, you can only zip it from the inside.
I might just take the tag off and turn the damn thing inside out.
I dunno. I just had to have it. It's kind of punk.
So I think I have at least three winter outfits that are comfy and punk and pleasing to MY eye which is all I care about. I have to find some thick thick socks for my Doc Martens'.
As they are a half size too large so that I can wear them in winter with the thick sox.
I got some Glucosomine at the store, it was on sale , fifteen bucks from thirty. I got some celery and carrots instead of chips. I got some microbrewery root beer to go with my popcorn.
I'm set.
Now, all I need is someone to hang out with. I wish I could get that at the store.
shit.