Hamburger Lady

I was just looking for songs on i-tunes. Came upon some industrial mixes... listened to some bits of songs. I had bought "Hamburger Lady" by Throbbing Gristle a while back but I never listen to my songs. I gave my sister my i-pod; I should get it back from her and start listening to music or at least some podcasts or something.
My point in this post was that I truly miss the old days and the music we played... the industrial music, the punk.
For some reason listening to it now is not good. It makes me so wistful and sad. I'm yearning for something that won't ever come back... my youth... college, the carefree days of university life, when I practially lived in the sculpture studio and hung out with members of GWAR and had classes with some brilliant artists and when my 'life drawing' class was so fun. I had this guy in my class... Sean English.
He and I would do some really good, really cool abstract stuff. *sigh*
I'm never motivated to do art when I'm alone. It only comes when there is another artist around.
How do I change that?
I'm so unmotivated to do ANYTHING anymore. This last drinking spree really knocked a lot out of me. Will I ever get creative again?
Is it just survival from now on? I yearn for that spark. How can I get it back?
Maybe I should get that ipod from my sister and start listening to my favorite music, whether it makes me sad or NOT>I need to work it out.