Treadmill

I sold my treadmill tonight. I had had so many calls and emails that the first person who showed up got it.
Some guy just chewed me out via e-mail saying I had given him no phone number and no address and had I done so he'd have been the first one to get here.
He went on to say "Please be more forthcoming and honest in the future."
I was going to but did not write him back saying "Sorry, guy, I was having a hard time keeping all the people straight so I deleted all but one email and told those people that if they didn't come get it I was going to keep the damn treadmill. I'm sorry you think I'm not honest and forthcoming and that you didn't get my 350 dollar treadmill that I just sold for forty five dollars because I need it out of my fucking hair and I needed it out NOW so I don't have to sweat getting it across town.
I'm sorry you are sitting there pouting about my treadmill not being in your living room right now. Me? I'm sitting here on top of forty five dollars, and I'm feeling PHAT and I'm feeling mojo and aren't you sad you didn't get a chance to join in the fun?
Oh for pete's sake. Lighten up. I'm so sorry, Mr. MAN, for ruining your fucking day. MY feet are killing me, my teeth ache, my back aches, I'm getting a cold or flu, and I have to show up to work tomorrow with that sore throat and fever and work for seven and a half hours busting my ass full on with little compensation and excuse me if I wasn't able to organize your fucking emails into a list that said who called or wrote first
jackass.