Flagstaff

The trip out to Flagstaff was long. My brother and I being not quite so young we decided to stay the nights at hotels. That runs the price of the trip up a bit. We arrived Monday around noon. I am quite shocked at how much my mother has aged, it is sad to me. And frightening. The ranch has become quite dilapidated, and there are abandoned vehicles laying around. The mobile home I used to live in has fallen completely in. It's just a shell, a shambles. I walked through it yesterday and it felt the way walking through a ghost town feels. I saw no relic of my own inhabitance there .
I am burning through money at an alarming rate. It took a large chunk of money to fill the propane tank. I had already given 300 dollars to my mom for the propane. That should have filled it halfway but when I got here it was only 20 percent full. I shudder to think what happened to money. That's 700 dollars I have spent on propane in the past few days.
And I don't have a job yet. Well, this is when "One Day at a Time" comes into play. I'll find something. I have to pay 300 bucks to NAU for a parking permit. I think I'll be walking to class from wherever I Find to park downtown in Flagstaff.
I need some boots! And a balaclava. Oh and some snow goggles. And a ski cap.
I'm tired. I have not had any fun since arriving. I had one coffee at MACY's but it was fraught with worry about spending money on coffee.
Brother Donnie and I just bought mom a 280 dollar TV for xmas. And we got a lasagna & cheesecake for xmas dinner.
I miss Ingrid. I miss the sure thing of having a job. But I do not miss my job. I miss playing computer games. Tried earlier, this internet is bad. Only 1.5 mps. I hope I can find something better. That internet is going to cost me... only 30 bucks a month though. As opposed to 60 in Huntsville.
Oh I have got to find work. ASAP. I'm starting to fret. I hope to look back on this post soon and laugh at my worry.
To top it off, people are texting me day and night, to the number I just got given. I text them back saying do not text me again , you have the wrong number. They text back saying 'sorry". I have only 200 texts available on my plan. I'm going to owe them money. Damnit.
It's cold out here and has been gloomy and not very light hearted. I let my mom get on my nerves. She's really old now. And I don't do bumbling old people very well. I hope to learn patience and kindness towards her.
I have super cramps and a heavy period. We went to see True Grit last night, and it made me so sad that my horse is gone. But I could not take care of her right now anyway. I do want a dog but that has to wait. Need work.