Fish Fry

Last night I went to the Friday night speaker meeting which was also a birthday meeting for the month. I am amazed at how emotional I got watching these people I've seen around get up and receive their tokens... there were a few people with a year, then a couple with two or three, then a rash of eighteen, twenty year chips.
Gave me hope and something to look forward to, they all had that glow and that easy smile and clear eyes and an aura that bespeaks a belief in something much greater than themselves.
Good meeting... the speaker was a woman in her late twenties who had come into the program a year before her twentieth birthday. She'd grown up in a typical drinking redneck home and had gotten married at fourteen, divorced at fifteen and married again a few years later.
She had nearly been sent to prison and had given up on life, was suicidal and very messed up when she came into the program... now she is articulate, funny, and very well established in the community with a home, a good job, a husband, kids... and she gives all the credit to her higher power. Very inspirational story.
I woke up yesterday crying: a bad dream about Bren in which she would simply not talk to me, was hiding behind her boss, refusing to have so much as a word with me. I was thinking about how she is, of course, like almost all of my exs, and also I realized that I can no longer afford to get together with anyone who eschews God . Higher Power. That has been the fundamental problem, I have gotten together with people who spit on God.
Spit on Higher Power. Refuse to let a Higher Power guide them. This must not ever happen again. My sister is the same way. I can't talk to her about it, and I couldn't talk to my exes about it.
And now I have learned a major thing: must not ever get involved with anyone who has no spiritual base.
that said, I must go to work and after work go to my sponsor's house for a fish-fry. She is having all her sponsees over and also my sister is going, HP help me.
One of my sponsor's other sponsees came over to me at the meeting last night and was very in my face... wanted to know if I needed a room-mate. She failed to tell me what I already know: that she has been in the looney bin for a while and locked out of her house by her boyfriend. I don't know who she was with last night but she was being escorted by someone who kept a very worried eye on her.
The omission of such important information is key to knowing I shall not be getting an apartment with this person.