Piper Cub

Was just doing a Google search (typing 'doing a Google Search ' is easier then trying to figure out how to spell 'Googleing'... or is it Googling? ) on Piper Cubs... sort of missing my dad I guess. Well, missing his planes at any rate. My dad and his homestead and his planes.... if you took Dad out of the equation I'd never want to leave the place. Poor man, he tries, but he really pushes it.
Someone please explain to me why he has to be such a total freak of nature. Why can't my dad be a COOL bush-pilot, not a born again Pentacostal perfectionist nutcase who pushes everyone away from him...
*sigh*
I do miss the homestead. This will be the first year I didn't visit in four years. I assume I'm not going to make it up there before October, ya know?
Last time I went out there was with Bren (my ex). We fought on the way out there, and I can't for the life of me tell you why we fought. I do know we pulled the car over and talked. I was worried that we were going to spend an entire weekend at the homestead being all pissed off at one another, but as far as I know we weren't.
I think Bren had a good time out there... at least I gave her some good memories, all she has to do is take me out of them and viola! Great Alaskan memories. I digress.
The homestead... of course, this is the first summer without Honey out there (my grandmother, the matriarch of the homestead) and so I am thinking that my father is out there with just the caretakers and perhaps an occasional visit from my brother (also a bush pilot).
It would be an excellent time for me to visit, Honey being gone and all. I do hope to make it out there for a week or so next year. Assuming that by then I have a 'real' job and can take that long off... and can afford the tickets, and also assuming I can get from Cordova to the homestead. I'm sure dad will still be working at the weather station and commuting...
Bren and I drove down the McCarthy road from the homestead almost to McCarthy and walked in. We had lunch at the general store. It's the first time I've been into McCarthy proper since I first went with my dad's wife Carolyn in '02. Carolyn, oh you .
Somewhere down the line Carolyn told my dad she would leave him if she couldn't adopt her niece's baby boy, Adam. Dad went for it. Carolyn left him anyway. Carolyn now lives in the same state I do... Alabama. She's in Mobile with my half-brother by adoption, Adam.
Dad will be spending some time and money getting from Alaska to Alabama and I have serious doubts he will drop in on me here in Huntsville. I only use dad for his homestead.
I tried to get to know him and spend time with him but it's very difficult.. you have just never met a more selfish and self seeking individual.
***
Just got back from a one and a half mile walk with the dogs. I decided, on this walk, that I am going to buy a doggie backpack, and make Molly wear it, so that Molly can carry water for the three of us. Maggie gets really hot, her fur being so dark and her being overweight and low to the ground. She starts to slow down and I think a drink of water would allow us to walk much further.
I'd like to take them with me when I walk my three miles, and I think it's possible if we have water, but I can't carry water and handle the two dogs ...
So. A trip to Petsmart is in order.
or ebay.
My sister keeps hinting about getting a two bedroom apartment. I dread the talk we'll have to have... about her having the tv on all the time, all the time... I need quiet. I crave it.
I like to read. She watches tv while she eats, puts on makeup, talks on the phone...it's ignorant.
Last night at the women's meeting I realized that those of us who are enlightened and aware of other's needs and concerned about our surroundings and how they affect others are in a class by ourselves. Those who don't give a hoot and just barely offer the hint that they might care what you need are way more prevalent. I think a lot, most people really don't like to share anything they have be it money, space, time, food...
I'm getting bitter. I know it's not that bad.
My boss bought me some oven mitts. They might as well be paper towels.. those sheet pans are HOT , and I don't want to burn my hands again. He was so crestfallen when I said the oven mitts are not going to cut it.
He bought them at Sam's Club, I know, and he needs to go get us some commercial grade oven mitts. I need some real kevlar mitts or something serious.
He meant well. He gave me a big bag of books. Mystery / action books. The kind I never buy but love to have on hand to pass the time.
What a sweet boss.
Eric, the other dishwasher, came in today with Lee. Eric is missing his front teeth. He has unruly receding hair but a great smile nontheless. He mopped for me. Sounded like Lee was loaning Eric the money to get his truck out of the shop. Also sounded like Eric had been living at Lee's house. I hear that Lee has about eleven sponsees. I wonder if Eric is one of them.. that is too many sponsees if you ask me, but whatever keeps you sober.
I can't imagine having a sponsee.. but I know it's going to happen if I stay sober. I know that the time when I had nearly four years of sobriety I did not have a sponsee...why not? How come my sponsor didn't recommend I get one?
What was wrong with my sponsors that they didn't yell at me to do service work or something to keep me sober?
I don't know. I do know that when I first met Eric I took him for your typical no-tooth down-and-out dishwasher.
From what I can discern he has mad carpentry skills. He's in the program, but I rarely see him at meetings. I don't know much more than that but I am interested in finding out more.
Just because I feel guilty for that first impression. I am sure that a lot of people have the same impression of me. Missing teeth, crooked teeth, crooked nose, scars, limp... yeah, I bet a lot of people write me off as some kind of bum.
Older men at the diner tend to stare at me mercilessly.. trying to figure out what I am. I'm getting used to it I guess.
Tomorrow night is the speaker meeting... I like the speaker meetings a lot. Love to hear people's stories. Without fail you see some one around and just think one thing about them but then you hear them speak and suddenly you get a whole new perspective on them.
I have to quit writing, my sister has turned on the TV and I can't think anymore.
OK, sister left.
Zomg... it took her forever. I can't understand her... she tells her friend Rob she's coming right over after she grabs a bite to eat. Then she sits down to the computer. She is on the computer, the TV on, she's eating, she's still here when I get back from walking the dogs TWO MILES.
Then she is still here. She fumbles around, doing whatever, etc etc.. finally leaves after around eight thirty.
Told the guy she was coming right over, that was around six or so.
she was blabbing to me while eating and computing and watching TV about how she thought Rob and her and I ought to get a house together with his little girls...
I just said "mmmhhhhhmmm".
Rob is a big time beer drinker. Rob smokes pot. Rob is great, a computer repair guy, funny as hell... but h e also likes skanky hoes.
He's a GUY. My sister is like in love with him.. he's a good looking skinny guy about thirty years old and she's a large controlling angry woman that's fitty six years old.
NO, sister, it's NOT a good idea. It will never happen. I'll be so out of here.
Where does she get these ideas? I guess she imagines that she and he can sit around drinking beer and smoking dope while I watch the little girls, or what?
Er, no.
****
so, I download an album I can't really afford: Portishead's DUMMY. I had forgotten how much I like that album... was bouncing around looking for other songs that were on this cassette tape this guy made me back when I was in college.
He introduced me to INDUSTRIAL music... and I really loved it. I was sober, washing dishes on the weekends at the Village Cafe in Richmond, while going to VCU as an art student.
It was a good time in life and the soundtrack is Industrial: I played that tape ad infinitum... carried it around for a long time and eventually sent it to some dyke I was penpals with in Cali, she never sent it back, but now and then I remember a song and go looking for it.
I found one tonight: Throbbing Gristle's "Hamburger Lady".
I love that.
Previous moments of clarity have brought back to me songs like "Car Bomb" (Negativland) and "Slender Fungus" (Tones on Tail).
Who would have EVER EVER IMAGINED there would be a cell phone commercial using a Tones On Tail song..."GO".)
For that matter, who ever would have thunk there would be Iggy Pop advertising a cruise line, The Ramones on 'Scrubs' (before Scrubs came out, they were showing previews and using "I Wanna Be Sedated" as the theme music.
Every time I watch TV (which is a lot unfortunately, thanks to my sister who is addicted) I hear some punk/industrial/techno riff... it's so bizarre yet it takes me back...
Back when I could drink and have fun and still looked young and had energy. Ha!
Now I just have to look back at those days with a fondness but not a sorrow... I wouldn't want to be back there. It was miserable.