Lessons learned

I've been in a sort of mind-fog all day... sometimes it takes everything I've got to get through the entire waking day without really just fumbling myself down the rabbit hole.
My brain, I feel sorry for it. It's had eight concussions so far, and let us hope there are no more to come. I did okay at work because anyone can wash dishes and cook hash brown casserole. But then came the real test:
come home and cohabitate with my sister who I am not sure is in a funk or just tired or doing some kind of drug. We had a bad fight last night and no one really knows if she's over it or storing it up for later use... another fight some night when I am least expecting it she may pull that argument out of her quiver and shoot that bad boy right at my heart.
For someone who did so much pot all her life I wonder, HOW does she remember things like that with total recall, when she can't remember other things?
At any rate, everything seemed to be copesetic and I went on to my women's meeting. Liz picked me up, then we got Jane and headed over the mountain to Hampton Cove.
All the three of us could imagine as we headed down the mountain towards Faye's house was "Oh wow, it's a wonder Faye never crashed her car on this road when she was drinking." All three of us agreed it is not a road that would be any kind of fun to drive when drunk.
At Faye's house we had brownie bites, strawberry fluff and sorbet. I was hoping for adult food, some carrots perhaps and maybe a bit of protein but not to be.
Stale Ginger Ale and strawberry fluff. For someone with money, you'd think there would be more interesting food. I don't get that ... Liz doesn't have as much money as Faye but Liz puts out a real spread for us.
Anyhow... we had our meeting. Liz and Denise got into it. I felt out of place to begin with... them in their femmy clothes and me in my torn jeans and Billabong shirt. Them with their painted toes and me with my dirty fingernails and uneven toenails.
Ah, I am not a womanly woman. But they seem not to care, or if they do they hide it well...
It does hurt that I can't share about some things, well I can I guess but... why? who of the group but me has any experience whatsoever with anything to do with lesbian issues?
I'm glad I have T to talk to, by e-mail, and I really should get B's phone number and talk to her, she's offered to meet me at the gay church.
I really could use the socialization.
Sister seems to be in a better mood tonight; I walked the dogs and got on the laptop and now it's time to sleep. My back is killing me!
In the car on the way home from Faye's I mentioned that if I didn't sleep on a bed soon (been on a couch since February) I was going to cry. J offered a room in her house, she has plenty of room and lots of beds, but she also has a very full liquor cabinet. I don't know why Liz, her sponsor, lets her keep that liquor cabinet full.
J isn't drinking it, but she makes a point of telling people about it, and now that I know where it is, I could not stay a night there.
Perhaps she can hide it somwhere out of sight.
I should tell her that would work because it would. She seemed dissapointed that I would not take her up on an offer to share her house for a night... but that is a LOT of liquor... Brandy, scotch... things that will fuck you up in no time flat.
If I went into that liquor cabinet I'd be ... halfway through it by morning.