In my lifetime

Last night as I was falling asleep I felt very lonely and sad and wondered why I stay alive at all; the tribulatioins rarely ebb to the point where I can enjoy life.
 But I realized I may live as long as my grandparents, mid ninties.  And then I thought about how different it will be for me as opposed to them;
 They spent their old age bemoaning the old ways.  Not one of my grandparents ever touched a computer , an ipod, a cell phone.
 I intend to embrace technology to the best of my ability right up to the end. I read up on it. I find it fascinating even if I can't really afford it.
 I'm ready for a world where there is no electricity, I've lived that way and can survive, and I'd be alright. But I also want to be ready for the world of flying cars and videophones and ... you know--- the Jetsons.
 I do not want to be like my mom, afraid to programme her own vcr... for me the big bugaboo is TIVO. My brother has it, and it seems like a boondoggle, but I'll have it eventually.
 I just want to play with the toys not be afraid of them. I'm lucky in that respect.
 It would be easy to stop at laptop and cell phone and say That's IT, no more. But damn if it is not amazing, what's going on out there.
 My mom saw the invention of many things: the invention of Television, eight track tapes, cassette tapes, cds, ipods, personal computers, man's flight to the moon, etc.
 I myself remember when they came out with cassette tapes and ipods and personal computers. I was there for the first trip to the moon.
 it makes me wonder what-all I'll see in MY lifetime. And it gives me something to look forward to, just for the sake of wonderment... not so I can tell my kids, not having any, but... Just for feeling that feeling we felt when man walked on the moon for the first time.