Heavy eyelids

I'm just so tired these days.
Work gets harder and harder and I have the same time and means I had before. It gets frustrating, more so when my boss tries to be my friend and wonders why I don't hug him at meetings.
He's creeping me out. His need to be liked by everyone is going to serve no one.
All that standing there at the sink bent over, carrying all those bus tubs... it's making me tough, strong, and made of steel but it's also like ... working in a coal mine... and soon I'm going to blow.
Something has GOT to give.
I just don't know what it is going to be yet.
I keep thinking about how I wish I had one of those cool siblings who was intelligent, well read, classy... liberal...
But my siblings can't help it if they had the parents they did. My brother is a redneck Republican.
He's ... impatient, deluded, isolated. He's scared of love, unfamiliar with it. He has no world view other than his microcosm. But he's what I have to work with.
And I'm taking to the movie of his choice tomorrow night: the first time I've taken him out. And I'm doing it by choice. took a long time to get the images of him trying to pummel me to dirt out of my head but it's finally gone, and so...
We're going to see SAW V. Yippee. Hey, if that is what he wants to see. He's always taken me to see horror movies. It's probably where I got my fascination with forensics.
And gore.
Speaking of gore... http://shapeandcolour.wordpress.com/200 ... dy-bakery/

That's the coolest thing I've seen all week. Scary bread.
WANT SOME NOW!
Yeah, so... I'm also taking my brother out to eat. Looks like we're doing Mexican food. I'm going for the nachos.
I want some Nachos and root beer.
I also want a Teddy Bear. I am looking for one online but... the really big ones are like a couple hundred bucks! I need to go on Craigslist and see if anyone has one they don't need and want to sell cheap.
I'm more nervous about taking my brother out than meeting that woman on Friday.
He can be so critical. And boring. But I will do my best to make it fun for him. I'll try to have fun as well.... *rolls eyes*
My boss is supposed to be gone tomorrow. I'm so glad. When he's around he hovers and asks me why I'm grunting (my back hurts, you idiot!) or why I'm in a foul mood (it's about ninety-eight degrees in here, you fucker!) or why I'm cussing under my breath (you can only stack so many plates in little dish-drainer, buttwipe!)
lol.
UGH.
It was nice seeing Liz tonight. She's in a good mood. We had a lot to talk about. George is out of the hospital... but he took off before I could say hi.
*sigh*
I love CSI New York.