PEEPS!

Soooo...... work was hideous. I walked in there and...there were turkeys on every surface. Apparently my boss has a catering gig tomorrow (today, actually) and it involves a LOT of turkey. Well... how is he cooking all those turkeys when he only has one tiny oven?
IN a DEEP FRYER. One at a time, IN THE PARKING LOT, at NIGHT. And again the next day and into the next night.

I'll give the sumbitch credit, he's got brass balls trying to cater a SAM'S CLUB employee dinner with turkeys done one by one in a deep fryer at night in the parking lot (I can't get over it).
He has a 17 year old boy doing it for him. And some of those turkeys sat out all night. Granted, they'll probably be ok, after being deep fried, but still.



Every inch of that kitchen was bathed in turkey blood and fryer grease. I swallowed my bile pride and just put my head down and got through the day. Shaking my head the whole way.

TURKEYS EVERYWHERE!

*****
And he had a guy there training for the relief cook position. This guy is... well, did you ever see 'Of Mice and Men"? This guy, we'll call him P., is a lummox. With a shaved head.
He started to empty my trash can. I said "It's not full!" He kept his big mitts on it and kept trying to take it away from me. I pride myself on emptying my own trash, and it's HEAVY, and that's how I got so STRONG, ok?
But I didn't tell him that, I just told him it wasn't full and I'd empty it when it was full. He kept insisting that he'd empty it. I just said "Do whatever the fuck you want, man. I don't really care that much."
So he said "Well you run the show back here so ... I'll leave it. But let me know when you want me to empty it, I know you can't empty that by yourself."
So I said 'Sure thing' to him so he'd leave me alone. And when it was full I emptied it myself with no trouble.
It was like that all day. Between the turkeys on every single flat surface (including the freezer) and lummoxman calling me "Miss Marie" (I said "MY NAME IS MARIA! ")
guh.
so I got through the day ok, then came home. I had stopped at the store for bread and frozen dinners. I am getting out of the truck and collecting my groceries from the back of the camper when a car tries to turn into our driveway.
It's my roommate's friends visiting from somewhere else. I'm trying to carry my groceries up the steep slick driveway in the harsh rain and they are trying to turn around in the driveway.
I get in the house and try to put my stuff away and cook a pizza in the oven. Suddenly there are a zillion booze bottles all over the place and those guys are whooping it up and getting CRUNK!
My mild mannered roommates are TYING one ON!
I decide to eat my pizza, shower and watch Jeapordy. Then I get ready to go OUT to the BAR to watch the DRAG KING show.
By this time I'm just... well I'm on autopilot. My friend CL#3 is bringing two friends to the gay bar for me to meet.
So ... she calls and says she's going to go with them to the bar to eat before she comes picks me up at my house.
I say I'll meet them there, but I've already eaten. So I drive down there, overshoot the bar, get lost downtown. I feel the same panic I felt last time I came upon a moose in the trail in Anchorage.
FEAR and SWEAT and ... one way streets everywhere.
But it's stopped raining and I find my way to the bar eventually.
Her friends are great. And they are into BDSM. Didn't see that coming. CL#3 is only mildly interested and has only seen one scene. Imagine her friends' faces when I confided I'd been a 'bouncer' at a dungeon in San Francisco.
CL#3 's face was priceless.
Anyhow the friends are great but they had to leave soon after I got there. After they left the music got really loud and so we couldn't talk anymore...I was getting hoarse.
Then the show started. It was one dyke after another wearing the exact same thing : beaten up straw cowboy hat with untucked western shirt and jeans and cowboy boots with a drawn-on beard.
guh
Then there was an interesting number in which a gal in a tux shirt sang the Meatloaf song "I would do anything for love (but I wont' do THAT)."
She'd say "I would do anything for love" and the other girl was pulling out props like flippers and then a stethescope and then PEEPS!
I don't know what the peeps were about but they ended up getting thrown around the room which delighted me to NO END!
Peeps all around!
I was DUCKING PEEPS!
Then they ran out of peeps and ... I got bored.
lol
We left soon after that. I doubt I go back to that bar. The bathroom had two stalls and one stall had a missing door, just a black curtain.
But there was still a bolt lock on the door frame. I made as if to lock it and cracked up the dykes that were checking thier 'costumes'.
*sigh*
It's more fun on twitter than it is at the local gay bar watching horrid Drag Kings walk around collecting dollar bills.