the stork in the shower

So... the weather here  has been fairly warm. When it's warm outside it's HOT in the kitchen. So I wear these cargo pants that zip off at the knee... and I decided to go ahead and shave in case it gets too hot in there and I want to unzip. (I've been not shaving all winter, I mean, what's the point?)
 Anyhow, I have a tiny shower. I'm not complaining, mind you. But it's small, a very nice tiled shower with a water-saver nozzle you can turn on and off at the showerhead.
 Since I'd let the hair grow a while it took me a bit longer than usual to shave. There I am standing on one leg trying to balance while I shave (I've turned the water off to keep the shaving creme on my skin)... and it's not very bright in there, either. I'm twisting and bending trying to see what I'm doing.
 And then I began sneezing! LOL... I had the sneeziest sneeze attack I've had in a long time.  Lawd, I was a-sneezin' so bad I started laughing about my predicament.
 I don't know if I got all the hair but I got most of it, haha, enough to unzip.
 My roommate's friends arrived today just as I was getting my groceries out of my truck. They wanted to turn around in our driveway and I was trying to climb the driveway with my groceries and it was raining like hell and then I get in the house with my groceries just trying to put them away and put a pizza in the oven and there's this big reunion going on and one of my roommates is rooting around upstairs for the booze  yelling "Where's the booze, sweetie?"
 And they bust out the vodka and juices and ice cubes and I just want to eat my Mediterranean pizza and my ginger ale and watch tv for a few minutes while I eat and get my nerves up to go out to the damn gay bar with my new friend CL#3 and her two friends, who are a married couple.
 And I'm just hoping I dont' have a horrible time there. I get so nervous and anxious when I'm in a gay bar nowadays... good grief. At least I'll be with friends.