I want to put my blood in a centrifuge and spin her out of it.

I was watching this video trying to get my mind off of C.
Then in the video, a kid is writing on the wall with chalk. There on the wall is written my name over C's name. The universe is either telling me something or I am driving myself batshit.
I have got to get a grip on this C thing. I want to end the connection and move on. How to do that, now that we finally got to be comfortable around each other again?
I want her so badly that this entire two weeks before seeing her I've been distracted, sad, moody and not eating right.
Then I will see her and we'll talk and hug and then I won't see her for another six months or so. This can go on but I don't like it. IF I end it, will I move on or be really sad and fucked up about it> http://vimeo.com/4749536